WTF, Talotta!!?

Peter HIckey sayeth: “"Sorry, Bill Bekkenhuis, but I get a chuckle whenever I hear that something like this happens. It's the people exercising their right to petition for redress of grievances, y'know. And it's great to see these sociopaths held to account for their anti-social behavior."

Odd you should mention that as last night I WAS THE TARGET. :-)

Last night I met two conservative friends for dinner at a Chinese all-you-can-eat buffet. As I am sometimes astoundingly unaware of what’s going on around me, I count on my two friends’ accounts on what led up to this.

We were sitting at a table and I was dodging every attempt by either of them to engage me in a political discussion.

Behind me, across the aisle, two men were engaging in a conversation in how lousy Donald Trump was for America. Apparently the conversation, at least on the part of one of the men (think long-haired, aging hippy :-) ) got relatively loud and salty in his language. And I don’t mean “hell” and “damn” level saltiness, but saltiness dealing with body parts in inappropriate places and sexual techniques most Americans would find distressing. I hope.

A casually dressed guy sitting behind THEM (that is TWO tables away on the other side of the aisle behind me) signed his check and, as he passed the two men, asked them to be a bit more discrete with their language in a public place. He said nothing about Trump.

The long-haired hippy-type FREAKED. He started shouting at this guy, cluster F-bombing him, telling him to mind his own effing business, and that he’s probably a dick (or some other euphemism for the reproductive organs) who VOTED for Trump.

At this point I became woke. :-)

While all the surrounding diners, including myself and the hapless server, tried to act like nothing was going on it seemed like a situation that could easily escalate to police being called or even a brawl.

All I could think was, “Wow, read the book on Facebook. This must be the live-action movie.”

At this point, one of my two companions, Mike Talotta, engaged the infuriated tribal warrior - addressing him in a quiet, friendly, way and encouraged him to just enjoy his meal and his conversation with his friend.

Yes. THAT MIke Talotta. (Took me awhile but I finally ruled out body double. :-)

It’s a wonder my neck didn’t break as I whipsawed my head 180 degrees: I must be part owl.

As it is, the infuriated one would have none of it and turned his wrath on us.

“Assholes, you probably ALL voted for Trump because you hated Hillary!”

Seeing my opening I said, “I know how you feel. I feel the same way. I voted for Hillary AND CAMPAIGNED for her. And I’M A REPUBLICAN.”

Whether that mollified him or if he just had extreme cognitive incongruence he calmed down just a bit and said, “Well, at least you made the right decision,” and returned to his still loud, still obscene conversation with his friend. (And believe me, none of us said a word about it. :-) )

Leaving the restaurant, having managed to avoid any discussion of politics (besides the one that could have gotten us beat up, arrested, killed, etc.) , I said, “Talotta, I want to kick your effing ass! WHY IN HELL can’t you do WHAT YOU JUST DID on Facebook?”

My other conservative friend, not on Facebook, said, “Oh, does he escalate ugly situations on Facebook?”

“Escalate!! He EFFING STARTS THEM.”

But I have his number now.

I don’t know WHY the hell he does what he does on Facebook, but IN THAT MOMENT he reflexively intervened early in the situation (possibly due to his several jobs as a server and bartender) and tried to de-escalate it.